Do You Know Sasuke?
by Kakashi'sStalker
Summary: Naruto is hesitant having to move in with Sasuke. Kakashi wants to know why. Read to find out if you know Sasuke. R and R pleez! no flames if you dont mind! [oneshot] Yaoi! SasuNaru, slight KakaIru. esh good!


a naruto fanfic!

**_Do you know Sasuke?_**

MW: Hey everybody! Thought I'd make a new one! Naruto and Kakashi are in the story, Surprisingly, Sasuke barely appears important at all!

Sasuke: Hey! Why am I always unimportant in your stories! (does the angsty look no fangirl could resist)

Naruto: Your so hot when you do that, Sasuke... (licks lips suggestively)

Sasuke: I need you now Naruto! (pounces on Naruto and starts removing clothes)

MW: OH YEAH! MEHEENERS! GET THE CAMERA! (Kakashi steps in)

Kakashi: Did I miss something I dearly should have seen?

MW: Yes. Kakashi, mind sayin the disclaimer..I hate having to say it. and get some good angles on this gayfest right here. (hands Kakashi camera and snuggles into his chest)

Kakashi: Sure. (starts snapping photos) Martianwedgie-sama doesnt own Naruto. She pledges her life to Masashi Kishimoto...

MW:Thank you! Enjoy! (knocks camera out of Kakashi's hands and pounces on Kakashi)

Meheeners:Uhhh...TIME FOR CRAZY DANCE PARTY! (pulls out Ukelele and starts playing techno.Nani? How do you play techno on a Ukelele? )

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(the story starts in a small almost empty apartment littered with empty ramen cups and neon orange clothes hanging on everything. can you guess whos house this is? Naruto and Kakashi are sitting on a small stained couch. Almost everything in Naruto's home is in cardboard boxes.)

"So I see your moving. Where?" Kakashi said amused.

"Im going to live with Sasuke." Naruto said, gently sighing. He looked slightly nervous. Kakashi noticed the change of Naruto's voice from happy to slightly sad.

"Why arent you happy? I thought you would be." Kakashi said, changing his tone from amused to concerned. Naruto looked back at Kakashi with the pools of cerulean that Sasuke craved, sighed heavily and said,

"Kakashi?"

"Nani?"

"Do you know Sasuke?" Naruto said meaningfully. "Of course I do! Hes one of my most precious students, I can admit being forgetfu-" Naruto interrupted him and said, "No, I meant do you really _know _Sasuke, like what he's like without that angsty mask he always wears."

"No, I cant say I do, hes too secretive to tell me anything. Why? What is he like?" Kakashi said. Naruto lowered his eyes and said, "Well, he's kinda..well, you know...different when he's with me. when we're alone."

"What kind of different? Is he nicer or something?" Kakashi asked. Naruto pulled his eyes up to kakashi's and said,

"Well, you could say that..." He was slightly blushing. He had a recollection of all the the times he spent with Sasuke. He let out a toothy grin thinking of the one time he caught Sasuke in a dark alley...

"HELLOOOO? Mind telling me what Sasuke is like?" Kakashi was tired of Naruto beating around the bush when they got in a conversation, and started snapping his fingers in front of Naruto to get him out of his trance.

"HUH?" Naruto was drooling slightly at the thought he was having seconds before...

"SO? WHAT IS HE LIKE, DAMN IT!" Kakashi was angry now. Naruto then said, "Well, how should I put this...he..Sasuke...is a sex fiend..." Naruto looked slightly embarrassed. Kakashi didnt know what to say. There was a long, stale silence. Kakashi broke the silence by saying, "Ahem...well. That was expected. uuhhh...what are you gonna do about it? I mean, how is he a sex fiend?" Kakashi was blushing as if he had read the whole series of Icha Icha Paradise...twice.

"well, he..uhh...wants **it** more than anyone Ive ever known." Kakashi smiled and said, "That cant be that bad, can it? I mean, Come On! you hang out with a bunch of teen Shinobi's! How much sex have they had? most of them probably have never done it.." Kakashi's mood had definitely lightened since Naruto said that. He thought it was something serious. "You know Kakashi..I do hang out with **Jiraiya **too.." Naruto said. Kakashi's smile faded and his eye twitched. (OOOh kids...somethings not right here!) "NANI! WHAT DID YOU SAY! JIRAIYA! THAT CANT BE HEALTHY! YOU SHOULD DEFINITLY TAKE HIM TO THE HOSPITAL ABOUT THAT! HOW COULD SASUKE KEEP A MASK ON THAT MUCH HORMONAL ACTIVITY!" Kakashi was freaking out about this. He himself had never seen someone so perverse as Jiraiya.

"HEY! Keep it down wouldja! I got neighbors!" Naruto was blushing like mad now. "...Ok. I think I know what you should do." Kakashi then pulled a videocamera out of his tiny scroll pocket and strapped to to his Hitai-ate. "Hey, Kakashi. Why do you carry around a videocamera?...wait, perhaps I dont wanna know.." Naruto said, cringing. "The question is, why dont _you_ carry around a videocamera?" Kakashi asked accusingly. "..Good point. So whats the camera for?" Naruto asked innocently. "Well, you want to show me how much of a pervert Sasuke is, right?" Kakashi explained like he would to a 4-year-old.(Though I suppose a 4-year-old wouldn't appropriately fit in this situation, right?)

"Yeah."

"Well what do you think of the idea that..Ok, lets say that you walk into your house, and Sasuke shows his inner Hentai. If you caught on tape what life was like for you and Sasuke, I'd know what you're dealing with!" Kakashi was pleased with himself for the great plan he just thought up. He was totally gonna treat himself out to an all-night adult movie marathon with Iruka when he got home, Kakashi hoped that movies of that.._kind..._would turn Iruka on, and usually it did. He smiled at the thought. Now it was Naruto who was annoyed at being so ignored. "HEY! OLD PERVERT-SENSEI! SNAP OUT OF IT!" Naruto screamed a Kakashi. As Kakashi came back to his senses, he said cooly,"hey, I thought you had neighbors to care about." "They're not important now, so how am I gonna sneak a videocamera? Its not like I can just waltz in there with a huge videocamera strapped to my head! I can just see the conversation were gonna have..'oi, Sasuke! how do you like my new hat? Its used mostly for SPYING ON US!' HOW AM I GONNA PULL THIS OFF!" Naruto screamed indignantly. "Well, what about hiding it behind your back, and then hiding it in your bedroom or something?" Kakashi stared at the sky in thought. He scratched his chin,smiled and said, "Yeah, I suppose that should work. Try it out, Naruto!" Naruto was hesitant. "What if he catches me, hmm? did you think about that? I could get in serious trouble!" Naruto was extremely nervous now. "Dont worry, If I know the ways of a pervert, then I think Sasuke will think its just a kinky toy to videotape your sex, or something. Dont worry! He wont be mad...I hope." Kakashi said assuredly. "well, I guess I have no choice, now do I? C'mon..Lets get these boxes over to Sasuke's and then we'll see how this little 'experiment' will work out." Naruto sighed as he motioned Kakashi to get up and help him with the boxes..

As soon as the boxes were moved to Sasukes house, Naruto snuck in with the camera behind his back. No sooner did Naruto get up the stairs, so close to the bedroom they were to share, did none other than Sasuke appear holding a bag full of fresh bedding. "aaaah! Sasuke! heh heh..uhh..what are you doing here?" Naruto tried hard to suppress his nervousness. "Uhh...we kinda live here together you know. Im just putting some new bedding down, god knows we'll need it after tonight! RoWr!" Sasuke purred in Naruto's ear. "Uhh..can you leave for a moment..I have to prepare for this!" Naruto's voice shook violently. "OK. just dont forget..the condoms are in the first drawer on the right.." He licked Naruto's ear lobe and left. Naruto shuddered in sweet pleasure. He hid the camera in a convenient spot, inbetween the teddy bears Sasuke gave to him as a present. He checked for good angles, and turned it on. Thankfully, Sasuke came in just after the videocamera was place in the secret spot. Sasuke was almost completely naked..almost. But still enough to make Sakura and Ino cry. Sasuke flopped on the freshly laundered bedsheets and spread his legs. "C'mon Naru-chan..you know you want it bad." he spoke throatily and huskily. Twas quite sexeh. "Uhh..I dont..feel...like being bruised in the morning, thank you." Naruto said hesitantly. He wasnt kidding. Sasuke was quite the careless lover. Plus Naruto hated being Uke. He was always on the bottom. 'I guess Sasuke likes being dominant,thats all..' Naruto thought to himself. Still, sometimes Naruto wanted to be Seme, but Sasuke always ended up on top, one way or another."I swear I'll be gentle tonight. Please! We have to celebrate your first night living here!" Sasuke pleaded on hands and knees(no matter how much I hate Sasuke..I can never resist him pleading on his hands and knees. ROWR!) Naruto couldn't stand the look in his eyes. Of course it was a lusty, I-wanna-do-you-so-hard-you-scream look in his eyes, but there was a sweet innocence that took residence in those lustrous onyx eyes that pierced Naruto's heart. "Alright, but no using the feather, got it?" Naruto said sternly. "Aww..I thought you liked the feather! Oh well! I call top!" Sasuke said playfully as he straddled Naruto like a horse. "every frikkin time!" Naruto mumbled and pouted. "I love it when your angry!" Sasuke said as he started licking and biting Naruto's neck. Naruto basked in the sweet bliss. Sleeping with Sasuke was ecstacy, but doing **it **with Sasuke was just plain dirty. After a while Naruto forgot about the video camera and indulged himself with a big helping of SASUKE! (I like to refer sexeh guys as food!) Then it really got good...They had no shame! they were doing it with the light on without any covers! The Camera saw everything! And then we saw Sasuke-

XXXXXXX WARNING! THIS SCENE WAS TOO YAOIFUL TO SHOW TO OUR YOUNGER VIEWERS! INSTEAD WE WILL TELL YOU THE STORY OF THE HAPPY PANDA-MAN NAMED SABAKU NO GAARA...

ONCE UPON A TIME...

time skips 4 hours later..

THE END! JUST IN TIME TO WATCH THE END OF YOUR USUALLY SCHEDULED FANFIC! ENJOY!

"mmm..Sasuke..I never thought you could do _that_ with your tongue!" Naruto panted as she slipped into his undies. "I learned it just for you, Naruto." Sasuke said with no trace of exhaustion at all. He was up for another go, but Naruto was not. Naruto slipped into bed with Sasuke and quickly delved into a deep sleep. (FYI: He turned off the camera when he put his lacey thong back on. OH YEAH! He **_does_** wear a Lacey Thong!)

In the morning...

Naruto skipped back to Kakashi's house with the tape in hand, happily. He was quite surprised he didnt wake up raw in the morning. As he was about to knock on Kakashi-sensei's door, when

Iruka wobbled out happily with his clothes put on in haste. His hair was down and messy, and he looked as if he had stayed up all night exerting himself. Kakashi walked into the door frame and waved Iruka goodbye. His hair was almost perfect, he was in his boxers, and he had red lipstick marks all over his face, chest and boxers. Thats when naruto noticed that Iruka had a small red tint to the outlines of his mouth. Naruto cringed at the dirty thought in his mind, and then turned to Kakashi and said, "heres the tape. Tell me what you think." then he skipped away to Ichiraku Ramen Bar, his favorite eatery! Kakashi then walked inside to his almost sickeningly clean house and popped in the video. For 4 straight hours, he watched what he thought was kiddie porn. 4 hours of moaning, chuckling, yelping and some nasty squelsh sounds. there was some screaming in there too...

After 3 days of going missing, Sakura, Naruto and Sasuke went to go look for Kakashi. It seems, after 3 abandoned missions, someone would notice, right? Nope. They thought he was just being Super late. A new record for being late. He did abandon them in the woods once for 2 and a half days before, so it wasnt that rare...

Sakura assigned places to look for Kakashi. She would check the local Naughty naughty bookstore, Sasuke would check the woods for him, and Naruto would check his house. After they split up, Naruto arrived at Kakashi's house. It was a complete mess when he walked in. No longer was it the clean, sterile house it had once been, but now it looked as if it were a death scene. Blood was splattered everywhere, clothes were thrown everywhere, and as he went deeper into Kakashi's lair, Naruto found Kakashi, dried blood plastered on his face and clothes, fresh blood still dribbling from his nose, naked, his face two inches away for the television screen. He rocked gently back and forth in fetal position, his hands over his..._naughty spot..._ staring blankly into the TV. The most disturbing of it was the movie ended 70 hours ago and he was staring at static.

"Uhh.. Kakashi-sensei..." Naruto said quietly.

"weiksdheorfoapfluemgiberjie...uuhhh" Kakashi said, roughly translated to "How come me and Iruka never thought of that...uuhhh."

Naruto, being the idiot that he is, then asked,

"So, what do you think?"

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MW:Someone please deliver the masses the moral to this story!

Sasuke: 'Never let a Pervert examine your love life on tape.'

MW:Uhhh..Then maybe me and Meheeners shouldnt have watched it...Meheeners? Your not lookin so good...

Meheeners:...duh? (drools over self)

Naruto:OHMYGOD! ITS WORSE THAN THE RINGU! OR THE JU-ON! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!

Kakashi: Shut up please!

MW: Kakashi!(Huggles) Your OK?

Kakashi: I suppose..

MW: You've recovered. Sex Now.

Kakashi:Wait, what?

MW: I SAID 'SEX NOW'!

Kakashi: I just got my pants on...again!

MW: Too bad. remove clothes now.

Kakashi: maaaan! (whines while removes pants)

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